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 Journal of Chloe Jareau, The History of and Journal Entries for
Chloe Jareau
 Posted: Feb 23 2017, 07:25 PM
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Chloe Jareau

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OOC: This is background to her biological mother and Chloe's reactions to that through her eyes. Please look for journal posts from Kiva and Emery for further details BIC:

Title: The Day she learned the truth about her biological mother's addiction.

She didn’t understand what was happening or really, understand how it had happened. It was like a bad dream, or more pointedly, a terrible nightmare. She kept going over and over again in her head everything that had led up to this very moment that left her sitting in the hospital waiting room. Chloe knew that she was rather dumb about things. Emery tells her that she needs to be more cautious instead of so trusting of people, but she had always just waved him off as a cynic. There was no reason to start out relationships with other people thinking the worst of them. She wanted to believe that people were good first and everything else later. She didn’t want to believe that people intentionally hurt others.

And yet, here she was.

Last summer Chloe had received correspondence from her mother. It was the first time in all of Chloe’s life that her birth mother had ever tried to reach out to her. Over the course of the school year, the two of them had written back and forth to one another against her father’s wishes and most of her family's too. But Chloe thought she had the right to know the woman who gave birth to her.

In the letters, her mother wrote about her road to recovery. She wrote on how it had taken years to realize she needed the help but that she never stopped thinking about Chloe. Her mother claimed that her sobriety came from her waiting to be someone in Chloe’s life and knowing that Chloe’s father would never allow it if she was still on drugs. When Chloe had asked about why it had taken so long for her mother, her response was that she had been afraid that Chloe would not have responded back.

When summer finally hit, Chloe had agreed to meet her mother face to face, but she had never told her parents about the meeting because she was afraid that they would refuse to allow her to go. It was a strange meeting. Both of them were nervous and uncertain about everything, but it had gone alright. If Chloe’s mother had never touched a drug or a drop of alcohol in her life, she would have been a beautiful woman, but looking at her, it was clear that she had lived a terrible life. Had she been healthy, Chloe probably would have looked just like her, but those possibilities were long gone.

They had met a few times after that. Each time, Chloe felt her mother’s behavior was only a false pretense of something else. She was always anxious and jumpy. She seemed distracted and scared. Chloe’s mother spoke about her family and how they had reached out to her and wanted to know about Chloe. She spoke about how the idea of them getting to Chloe worried her.

On their final meeting together had them making a pit stop at one of her mother’s friend’s places. It was in a part of town that Chloe didn’t recognize and never wanted to go. It was where most of the crimes happened. The ‘wrong side of the tracks’ so to speak. Chloe didn’t want to be here, but her mother had insisted it would only take a moment.

That moment led to where she was now.

Her mother’s ‘friend’ was her supplier. Her mother had relapsed at some point before she had met Chloe. While Chloe waited outside, her mother had taken too much of something or a combined amount of something that led to her overdosing. The others who had been in the apartment had run out the door, which had alerted her to something and when she went in to see, she found her mother unconscious on the bed.

Chloe had to run to a neighbor to get help. They were in a Muggle neighborhood and Chloe had never learned to use a telephone even though Kiva and Emery were both willing to teach Chloe and her father some things. She wished she had taken them up on it. The neighbor had called the police for her and now she was here at the hospital.

The police had to leave her to find her father since they did not have working telephone for them to call. That had felt like ages ago.

“Chloe?” A deep familiar voice called out. Her lifted her face to find her dad half running down the hospital corridor to where she sat. Chloe stood up to meet him. She knew he was upset with her and would want an explanation. He stopped just a few feet from her, trying to catch his breath but also to take a look at her. “Aw, Baby girl, I’m so sorry.” He opened his arms for her.

The small gesture was all that she needed. “Daddy!” She cried out and collapsed into his arms in tears. “I was so scared. I didn’t know what to do. I’m sorry that I lied. I thought she was better.”

“Shhh, it’s ok, it’ll be ok.” Jeff said, holding his daughter tightly. They would talk about everything later. For the moment, he was just happy she hadn’t been harmed.

Chloe found out that her birth mother was stable and would be okay. Once they found that out, Chloe decided to leave. She left a note for her mother, saying her goodbye, and left with her dad. She had talked with her parents later that evening, once she had calmed down, and told them everything. Although they were disappointed that she hadn’t confided in them sooner, they both understood that meeting her mother was something she needed. If there came a time in her life that she felt okay to meet her again, or her family, they just wanted her to tell them first. Chloe thought that was reasonable, but she wasn’t likely going to meet any of them ever again.
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Chloe Jareau
 Posted: Feb 23 2017, 10:06 PM
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Chloe Jareau

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Chloe's speech at her brother's funeral [i]Fuzzy time to Chloe's midterm in her 7th year[/i


Chloe was called up to make her speech. Her long blonde hair was done up in soft curls and she was wearing black dress with matching flats. Black was not a color she normally wore as she associated it with bad things, but this was now the second time this year that she wore it to attend funerals of family members. Her look would normally be considered dressed up, but she lacked makeup to pull it all together. Instead, her peach skin and freckled face was free for the world to see. She opted to go clean because she knew she would be crying for most of the day.

“My name is Chloe Jareau and Angel was my brother.” She began. “He became part of the family around the time I was eight. Everything was changing back then and all for the best reasons. Our parents married, we adopted everyone… I went from having a family of two to a family of six in a matter of months.” She looked over to where her family was sitting and gave them a smile. She let her eyes linger on Aya longer than she needed to, but it felt necessary. “I remember being so happy to have an older sister and brother. They were both so very different from me in every possible way and I loved it. I loved them the moment I met them. I’ll love them forever.”

She paused to take a breath. “Angel’s life before he found us was one of loneliness and without love. It’s heartbreaking to know of the things he had endured or the even of the things he had lived without for so long.” Her parents had always been truthful and forthcoming regarding their lives, when they asked about Angel’s and Aya’s history, they had given it to them. There was a chance that it wasn’t the whole truth, but it was enough for both Chloe and Emery to understand where they came from.

“But even with all that had happened to him, he was kind and beautiful. He was curious and full of wonder. He never minded me asking him a million questions or talking his ear off. He wanted to love and be loved.” Chloe found herself smiling softly, remembering dinner time with her brother. “Angel was a wonderful artist. We would find pictures of ourselves that he would sketch all over the house, discarded like they were garbage because he didn’t understand the beauty of it.” Chloe, her parents, and all of her siblings had portraits of themselves that Angel had drawn. One of Chloe’s was framed in her bedroom at home. “I wish the world could have known my brother. He taught me so much about life, acceptance, compassion… what being loved is all about.” She sniffled as the tears came. “Having a family, having friends, being loved and loving others, he taught me about how much these matter. Angel was one of the most important people in the world to me, to us, and I will miss him so much.” she tightened her grip on the podium when she felt what would have been sob ebb it’s way up her throat.

“Thank you, everyone, who took time to get to know him. I know it meant the world to him. Not having him here with us has broken us because we loved him so much. Knowing that there were others who cared for him too gives us comfort. I’ll miss him everyday for the rest of my life, but I hope I can be the best of myself and live a life that Angel can be proud of.” Chloe turned away from the crowd and faced the casket. Leaning down, she whispered, “Be at peace, my sweet brother. I love you.”
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Chloe Jareau
 Posted: Feb 23 2017, 11:02 PM
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Chloe Jareau

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Chloe's reaction and feelings after learning of her Biological Mother's death fuzzy time to Chloe's first half of her 7th year

It was late October when Chloe received not one, but two letters in the mail that morning while eating breakfast with her jumbled group of friends. The first one she easily recognized her father’s handwriting, but the second one, she only knew who it was from because of the stamp that sealed the letter shut. It was from the Pembrokes. Chloe’s heart sank. She hadn’t heard from them since her mother went nuts over the summer. They had apologized for her behavior and had put her under house arrest while she went through detox or something.

Whatever light that was present in her went out like a blink of the eye. Looking up from the letters to see if anyone noticed, she accidentally caught her friend’s eye, but she quickly looked away. Not wanting to read the letters in front of anyone, Chloe excused herself from the hall and made her way out to her favorite bench in the Gardens.

Chloe held the letters in her hand, deciding which one to read first. She eventually decided to read her father’s because his was likely just going to summarize whatever it was in the Pembroke letter. Ripping open the letter, Chloe scanned it, catching words as she went along. The drift of it was enough to make her grow cold and numb.

Lottie passed away yesterday.

One line read, Chloe bit her lower lip.

They believe it was from an intentional drug overdose.

Oh God. Intentional?

I’ll be there tomorrow to pick you up for the funeral, if you want to go.

She thought all the air was being sucked away from her. She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t feel anything. What was wrong with her?

Suddenly and without much push, tears that she hadn’t even been aware of began to fall. All the emotions hit her at once. “She’s dead.” Chloe exclaimed, her voice tight as she tried to hold back.

“It’s my fault.” She quietly said as the realization of what she had just read hit her full force. “It’s all my fault!” She said louder before falling into a fit of sobs, her hands coming up to block her face. She had cried this hard only a couple months prior and she had never wanted to do it again. But here she was.

“She said that she needed me to get help, that only I could save her.” Chloe choked out between sobs. “But I told her to go away and now she’s dead. She killed herself because of me!” Chloe admitted. “It’s my fault.”

“She asked for my help and I pushed her away!” Chloe said from behind her hands. She would have rather had a hug than a reassuring hand. “I told her that I didn’t want to see her anymore. My parents put up wards to keep her out.” Chloe wiped her face. “We could have helped her. We could have done something, anything, to save her.” She started crying again.

Her face must look so blotchy from crying and her eyes had to look swollen. Chloe hated being any other emotion except for happy (even a fake happy) because any other emotion made her ugly. “But I should have done something. Even if I couldn’t save her, I should have tried because she needed it. Because she’s my mother. She… she failed me so many times these last couple of years and I never wanted to do that to a person, but I did. I did it to her. I failed her when she needed me.” Chloe tried to stop herself from crying again, but it only ended up with her rubbing her eyes and sniffling uncontrollably.
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